Born frees in Zimbabwe—misguided or misunderstood?

THERE has been so much talk about the "born-frees" albeit in a negative way. Born frees is a term popularly used in Zimbabwe to describe those who were born after Zimbabwe acquired its Independence from the British in 1980.

My brother, the last born in my family belongs to this group. He is fashion conscious, wears well-kempt short locks and sometimes wears the infamous saggy trousers. My parents cannot stand his choice of fashion, to the extent that my dad only agreed to be party of his entourage to his would-be-in-laws to pay ‘lobola’ on condition he (my dad), approves his choice of dressing on that particular day.

My mother believes he (my brother) is rebellious; he doesn’t hold "proper" family traditions and generally does not quite fit into their expectations of a boy child. Her judgement is entirely based on his hair-style and his choice of dressing. To make matters worse, my family comes from a deep-rooted Christian background and both my parents are seen as elders in their little community, and according to their thinking, they cannot be seen to be counselling other youths when one of their own is "not perfect".

Talking to my mother on why she thinks he is "rebellious", I get a feeling that she bases her allegations on comparisons. The way most of us (her children) were brought was entirely different, we ate what was put on the table, and we weren’t asked what we wanted. We only the pleasure of watching TV (Mukadota and Mvengemvenge) very late in our childhood. We did not have individual bedrooms; we had girls’ bedroom and boys’ bedroom. As soon as we took up jobs, automatically we committed ourselves to financially help our siblings.

My brother grew up in a completely different environment, watching Dynasty, Dallas at a very early age. By the time he had started high school, he was watching satellite TV, courtesy of his older siblings. He chose what he wanted for his meals, because there were options available. He did not have a financial commitment to any of his siblings because they could look after themselves, so his money belonged to him and he used it as such.

Trouble now is, if there is a family funeral or something like that, he is happy to co-ordinate everything else, but he is always whingeing when it comes to financial contributions. My mother thinks he is irresponsible. I think he is misunderstood - here is someone used to a certain way of life; never had any responsibilities when he was growing up and suddenly expected to change his way of life.

My friend also shares my mother’s view. Her own brother could not "cope" with the hard life in UK and went back home. She actually believes the song by Tuku "Varume vanorarama neraki" was a special dedication to her own brother.

If I try to raise my parents’ concerns with my brother he tells me he thinks they are guilty of stereotyping—he, according to him, is a young, modern, independent man who is just trying to survive. He also demands that he be respected and listened to, noting that it was not his fault that he was moving with the times. He is very respectful to his parents and the rest of the family and also very generous when he wants to, but he demands that he too, be listened and allowed his freedom to wear what he wants without being judged by the way he dresses.

When I walk round and see these youths in their saggy trousers, I’m always asking myself, “are they misguided or misunderstood?"

Nancy Nyamhunga
Leicester, United Kingdom